The Charm is Broken Utterly
by barspoon
Summary: (Shalott series #5) Kakashi-centric one-shot, Gen story. One curse is the death of anyone who gets too close, the other is a curse of three lives that won't let Kakashi keep his distance. He's weak because he's let them get close, he's a failure because he knows he doesn't really have a gift for teaching, and he's worthless because he can't seem to stop enjoying it so much.


**[** For the benefit of anyone reading this story first, I would like to say that the manga never showed what happened between the Wave Arc and the Chuunin Exam Arc. The only time frame I can find is that the anime puts the bell test on October 15 and the canon date for the Chuunin Exam is July 1. That leaves a whole lot of blank time where readers can only speculate to how Kakashi truly was as a Jounin Sensei. This is my interpretation, and you don't have to agree with it. It's all good. =)

However, if you want to call me a big fat liar, please bring evidence to back up your claim with _**manga**_ chapters/pages. While I do sprinkle in some anime fillers and movies, I don't use all of them since they're...well, basically copyrighted fanfiction created by an animation studio. ;) The POV and backstory continues in the vein of this "Shalott" series, but I'm also trying very hard to stay as true to canon as possible so each one of these can be read independently. Thanks! =D

The title comes from the poem "Lady of Shalott" by Lord Alfred Tennyson. More notes at the end. **]**

**The Charm is Broken Utterly**

Much to the aggravation of Kakashi's little minions, he patently refused to spoon-feed them high level jutsu's after they'd returned to Konoha from the Wave Country. Sakura had the chakra control and understanding of jutsu theory, but she still lacked the stamina and chakra reserves to perform them safely. Naruto had the chakra reserves, but lacked the theory and control to get any of the techniques to even work, and his recklessness would put himself and probably the rest of his team in the hospital. Sasuke had the most potential out of the three, but it would only feed his lust for power and push him into isolating himself again, ruining all the teamwork lessons that had finally begun to sink in.

Kakashi wanted them to be inventive and adaptable, because that's what had saved him when he'd been trapped in Zabuza's water prison. He wanted to strengthen the skills they already had until their foundations were as solid as the foot of a mountain. He wanted them to rely on each other, to learn that each one of them had the strength that the others lacked, and that by coming together _as a team_ they had the limitless potential for becoming an unbeatable force. Handing them techniques they were neither physically nor mentally ready for would only destroy the team he was attempting to build.

He cautioned them about using too much chakra to enhance the strength of their movements, schooling them on maintaining a balance between the amount of chakra they could tightly control and what their bodies were physically capable of enduring. When Naruto and Sasuke inevitably ended up in the hospital with torn muscles because they both refused to acknowledge that their chakra control wasn't as perfect as they believed it to be, he gave them each a lovely bouquet of flowers with a pretty card that said "I told you so...".

He kept them on their toes by sprinkling traps amongst the genjutsu, or sometimes outright ambushing them during their laps. And every once in a while he made it more entertaining by stirring things up with a couple of transformed shadow clones. Well...it was entertaining for him, at least. It always evolved into a highly amusing game of "Catch and Kill the Sensei!", which invariably became hilariously chaotic as soon as Naruto's temper snapped and he started adding far too many additional players to the field.

When they attempted to hold his new Icha Icha book hostage because he'd made them wait in the rain for an hour - not that it mattered since they still trained all day in the rain, AND he tossed them into the hot springs before sending them home warm and dry, thank you very much! - Kakashi caught them all in a wire snare and gave them a hearty electric shock by using it as a conduit for a low-level elemental jutsu. After the token Uchiha glare of affronted pride beneath his smoking hair, Kakashi saw Sasuke's eyes light up with ideas. So, when Sasuke started using wire more often on their training days, Kakashi was honestly excited about seeing how Sasuke would incorporate it into his own unique style.

The first day Sakura started wearing a sleeveless dress, she planted her feet, focused a rigidly controlled burst of chakra into her legs and shoulder, and threw a wicked right hook while she and Naruto sparred. She missed the blond, but the large tree behind him shuddered and groaned under the force of the hit. Kakashi was delightfully surprised, Naruto was gob-smacked and a bit frightened, and Sasuke did a good job of hiding his shock behind a calculating expression. Kakashi wrapped Sakura's cut knuckles before he started adjusting her stances so she could shift quickly between defense and offense.

He was also happy to see that she wasn't holding back the irritated dark looks directed at the boys when their impatience between the occasional out-of-village mission got them into a foul mood. Seriously, on those days it was like someone was sneaking Naruto a pot of coffee and "Must Compete and WIN!" pills every hour. He just would not calm down! It would have been easy to blame him for the lack of teamwork, but the truth of the matter was that all three of the Genin were getting downright cagey. Naruto was simply the only one openly expressing his frustrations.

Unfortunately, that made him distracted, and a distracted Naruto was a disaster waiting to happen. Sakura and Sasuke knew this, but they weren't really doing anything about it. They simply expected Kakashi to take care of prevention and damage control on their D-Rank missions within the village, just like he had been doing from the beginning. So, after a few weeks Kakashi started waiting before he stepped in to rescue Naruto from the bizarre situations he sometimes tended to get himself in.

The first time was a lot more difficult than he anticipated, and it took all of his training to keep himself from grabbing the furious woman's wrist before she landed the punch on Naruto. Sasuke and Sakura were too stunned to react initially, and Kakashi snapped his book closed before giving the pair a scathing look of disapproval. Naruto should have been stopped when they noticed he was kneeling in front of an herb garden, and they knew it. An _outsider_ should never have been allowed to HIT Naruto like that, _and they damn well knew it!_

They didn't hold his gaze, darting their eyes away in a whirling mix of emotions as he walked by to help Naruto up so he could check the boy's bruised face. The remainder of the mission was cancelled, and he curtly informed the client that another team would return to fix the damages and finish the job. It gave him a small amount of satisfaction that the woman went rigid with nervousness at his cold smile, and he didn't care about the repercussions of letting that tiny little bit of killing intent slip out in front of a civilian.

Hiruzen did not look pleased to see them walk through the doors, and he arched a brow at the note Kakashi had written at the bottom of the failed mission report. Hiruzen glanced at the ice pack Sakura was forcibly holding over Naruto's black eye while the blond winced and squirmed and protested the fact that they weren't being allowed to complete their mission. The old man gave a silent nod, and Kakashi smirked as the Sandaime removed the mission from the D-Rank list before writing it on the more expensive C-Rank list "due to an overly-aggressive client". Rapping a kid on the head when they did something stupid was one thing, but hauling back and cold-clocking them when they had made an honest mistake was another.

The second time he waited was that same day, during the mission they received to replace their failed one. All three Genin were a bit subdued after the uncomfortably eventful morning, and Kakashi could see the tension in Sakura's and Sasuke's shoulders as Naruto quietly picked trash out of the river with them. When Naruto slipped and was swept downstream toward the waterfall, his teammates' shock only lasted a blink of an eye. Sasuke was the faster one, but Sakura was already crawling out onto the tree limb to help pull her teammates up by the time Naruto stopped shouting, and Kakashi hauled all three of them to safety before the limb broke.

Weeks turned into months, and the odd disjointed cluster of Team 7 started pulling together more often than it exploded apart. When his brats spent four harrowing days - including their day off - trying to see what was under his mask, he honestly couldn't remember a time in his life when he'd had more fun.

Playing the fool in front of them was fantastically easy since they had no preconceived notions of who he was or what he used to be like. They knew he was strong, but he was an ordinary Jounin to them. He was a lazy, chronically late, and mildly perverted Sensei that had a little bit of a sadistic streak when it came to their training. They were bold enough to plot his downfall, wary enough to fear the consequences of getting caught in the act, and still naive enough to half believe the infuriating show of ignorance and mild suspicion he put on for them.

He almost put a halt to the game when they talked him into having lunch at an onsen. The three buffoons that had followed them when they'd left Konoha did a decent job of hiding the fact that they'd tampered with his bowl of rice, but he couldn't smell a poison and he didn't know if they had laced the entire meal. But Naruto throwing a pot of tea at his head gave him the perfect excuse to dump the table, and when he noticed the three 'assassins' uniforms had vacated the bath ahead of the men...well, that was just too good of an opportunity to pass up.

Admittedly, he was disappointed at the clumsy ambush when his Genin tried to take him down with only taijutsu. He still slotted it as a success in environmental awareness and judgement, though, because if they had pulled out the weapons and ninjutsu while they were _on the job_ surrounded by _farm animals,_ he would have been furious at their recklessness. When the three strangers came out of hiding and he kicked them in the teeth before tying them up, the killing intent he radiated was genuine. He did not appreciate being targeted by their bumbling attempts to kill him while his kids could have been caught in the crossfire.

If he had one real regret during that time, it was that he didn't have a camera to take a picture of his three little monster's faces when he showed them the second mask he'd worn just for the occasion.

Unfortunately, team cohesion could also be a frustrating trial for three kids who were still trying to figure themselves out while also trying to figure each other out. Sakura's impatience at constantly attempting to subdue Naruto's self-destructive competitive streak would reach critical mass every couple weeks, and he couldn't blame her and Sasuke for letting Naruto burn himself with his own stubborn thick-headed notions on occasion.

However, they still always picked Naruto up and carried him back when the day had been particularly disastrous, and none of them - himself included - ever let him go too far. Kakashi was proud that Team 7 never left each other behind, and even if their teamwork wasn't consistently on point they _found_ ways to work together when the chips were down.

...though, he could have done without their attempts at meddling in his non-existent love-life, because trying to marry him off to an enemy spy was not something they needed to be doing.

...and he didn't necessarily like the fact that the nursing staff at the hospital had request forms for extra medical supplies already filled out for him to sign as soon as he walked in the door, but at least it was mostly just for band-aids, gauze, and burn ointment.

Thank god he didn't have to state why he wanted to enter his team in the Chuunin Exam. Standing there with a straight face and saying "They're starting to drive me up the wall, and if Naruto doesn't kill himself on the next D-Rank mission, Sakura will kill him instead." probably wouldn't have gone over well. Then Iruka and Gai voiced their protests, and something in Kakashi snapped. All kidding aside, he was not going to toss his team into the shark-infested waters of the Chuunin Exam unless he had every confidence that they would make it out alive and better for the experience!

For the past three weeks he had been using multi-layered traps and more complex genjutsu's as he ambushed them during their laps, because Naruto was getting too adept at sneaking his shadow clones into the mix to spring the traps or alter them to backfire against Kakashi, Sakura was getting too quick at spotting both him and the mid-level genjutsu's right away so she could warn the others, and Sasuke was getting too good at taking advantage of the situation to launch an attack. They were not the Academy's babies anymore, and they were not weak. They were his team, and they were strong!

Nevermind the fact that Sakura took the nomination form with pensive unsure silence. Nevermind the fact that Naruto tackled him like he'd just handed the blond a coupon for a lifetime supply of free Ichiraku ramen. Nevermind the fact that Sasuke was distracted and vibrating with eagerness at the thought of battle. Nevermind the fact that none of them had all the qualities to actually gain the rank of Chuunin.

They showed up at room 301 as a formidable _team_, and after the door closed behind them he closed his eye and listened as Naruto's outburst forcibly solidified their resolve. Though, he could definitely sympathize with Sakura's fury at suddenly having an entire room packed full of enemies painting big targets right on their backs.

They were _strong_. They would make it to the end of the Chuunin Exam and they would be even _stronger_ for it.

And he was right.

He was right and so very wrong.

He had been doing so well at not thinking about the calendar. He had been doing so well! Unfortunately, his three little distractions weren't there to distract him anymore, and it all came crashing down on him when he heard that three bodies were found a few hours after the second stage of the Exam started. Anko would take care of the imposters quickly and ruthlessly, he knew that. She may have sent all those Genin into a free-for-all kill zone, but it was HER free-for-all kill zone, and any uninvited guests would have their eyes gouged out with her dango skewers.

Regardless, it didn't help him sleep at night with his mind churning through the memories of past funerals and failures and the fact that he could probably get in and out of the Forest of Death without anyone being the wiser for it. But if he was caught, it would mean an immediate disqualification for his team, and in a worst case scenario it could be seen as sabotage against Genin from other Hidden Villages and grounds for instigating a war. All he could do was cross off each day on the calendar before walking the steps up to a small shrine, offer three coins for three lives as he rang the bell, pray until Gai showed up to spy on him, and then wander the streets until he was summoned to the tower within the forest.

There was no way he could have anticipated Orochimaru's interference, but he still wished he could have stopped it somehow. Sasuke was so desperate for power, so damn desperate to keep a tight grip on the only reason he had stayed alive and sane all those lonely years: Revenge. But Kakashi saw a shine of real hope when Sasuke fought back the curse mark with every ounce of willpower he had. So, he tried to give the boy what little help he could by binding a piece of his own willpower in a seal to act as an amplifier for Sasuke's voluntary suppression of the curse mark.

And despite his bluff, he knew he would have given Orochimaru one hell of a bloody fight before the traitor killed him. The confrontation left him shaken and twitchy, but he allowed himself a small sigh of relief that Orochimaru had backed down. He raided the available ANBU ranks before dropping Sasuke off in the restricted wing of the hospital to be healed under their guard. Using the sealing technique and charging up a chidori had drained him enough that a shadow clone would only be as powerful as the ANBU he'd recruited, so he reluctantly left Sasuke and sprinted back to the tower.

There was no way in hell he'd leave Sakura and Naruto alone with Orochimaru's Oto shinobi possibly having orders to assassinate the Genin if given the chance. He wouldn't put it past Orochimaru to kill off Sasuke's teammates just to drive the boy farther into the dark. Also, leaving them too long would only worry them, and that kind of distraction would be dangerous for them against any opponent. On a more selfish level he just wanted to be there for them as their Sensei. He wanted to watch their fights, and simply have a moment to admire how far they had come. He wanted to watch the reactions on everyone's faces when they defied the odds and _won_.

Sakura was a mess of dirt, sweat and scratches with her long hair raggedly cropped off, but she held her head up proudly. There was steel in her spine when she baited Ino into a true battle, there was fire in her eyes when she broke free of the Yamanaka's hold on her mind, and she never flinched at the final blows both girls dished out to each other. As far as Kakashi was concerned, Sakura won that match, and she won it _fiercely_. She had the grace to thank Naruto for supporting her, the heart to shout her support right back at him when he stepped into the ring with Kiba, and the gumption to toss a glare at Kakashi until he smiled to show her he believed in Naruto as well.

Naruto was just as loud and boastful as he had always been, but now he had the means to back it up. He was a fearless unpredictable brawler, and no matter how many times Kiba hit him he got right back up and stood his ground. He had the cunning and absurd luck of a born trickster as he took control of the fight when all hope appeared to be lost, and the tenacity to never give up until he won. Kakashi could virtually hear the wheels grinding in everyone's brains as they tried to grasp the idea that the Academy's dead-last failure was now a force to be reckoned with.

It was music to his ears, and for a brief moment he closed his eye and let himself believe he heard Minato laughing and Kushina cheering loud enough to rattle the dust from the ceiling.

But his minion's hearts were too big to be restricted by normal standards, and Kakashi watched shy little Hinata stand tall against all the hatred that Neji could throw at her, because Naruto told her she could do it. He watched Lee cheer on Naruto and then acknowledge him as a comrade, one worthy of taking on his greatest rival should the final match not pit him against Neji. He watched Naruto and Sakura stand in awe of Lee, a former dead-last that had the spirit and power to rip the air apart with taijutsu alone.

He watched their hearts break when Lee's dream was crushed beneath Gaara's sand. And as he grabbed Naruto to stop the confused denials the blond was shouting, Kakashi felt his resolve crack at the trembling frame under his hands. He wrapped his arms around Naruto, and convinced himself it was to keep the boy quiet while he spoke about Lee's decision to take that dangerous risk. Kakashi suspected Naruto didn't fully understand, but he had calmed down enough to frown in silence as Kakashi ruffled his hair and took a few steps toward Gai.

Real thanks and apologies were never easy between himself and Gai. They had known each other too long, they were too different. Their dysfunctional friendship was one of the only stable things that had followed Kakashi through his entire life. It was an unchanging cloak of rivalry, where Kakashi pretended not to care and Gai refused to notice. Kakashi had shattered so many times he was pretty sure he had put himself back together sideways with several pieces missing, but he had never seen Gai shatter until that moment.

He didn't know what to do. He had basically placed the guilt on Gai at the beginning of the fight, which had been abhorrently wrong of him, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he knew he wouldn't have been able to stop Naruto if their situations had been reversed. The thought of saying it made him feel like he would be betraying the odd unspoken trust he had with Gai, fracturing their relationship by laying the placating apology over the broken slump of his friend's shoulders. All of it was too painful to do anything but offer a metaphorical hand back up to the viewing balcony...to just offer Gai a hand up.

When the last battle was finally over, he was getting antsy about Sasuke. As skilled as the ANBU guards he'd placed with the boy were, he couldn't shake the feeling of paranoia writhing under his skin.

Fuck, he hated being right...

Kabuto proved to be as slippery as an eel, and Kakashi knew he couldn't leave Sasuke's protection to anyone else. Orochimaru had a formidable lackey in the medic. It had cost the lives of three men, and their deaths were on Kakashi's hands. He wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

He sent Pakkun off to notify Ebisu that Naruto had passed the second stage of the Exam, and to meet him at the hospital. While the second stage had been going on, he'd been mulling over who to ask for help in case all three of his students made it to the final round. He could only work with one of them during the month-long break, and he suspected it would have to be Sasuke. No one else would be able to teach the Uchiha how to further utilize his sharingan, and he had suspicions about Sasuke's real elemental affinity. Now that he had Orochimaru to contend with, and Sasuke would be facing Gaara, there really was no other option.

Besides, Naruto could learn quite a bit from having another teacher. If Ebisu could hone Naruto's chakra control even more, his speed would increase and his stamina would outlast anyone in the ring if he played his cards right. Ebisu was trusted with the Hokage's grandson and he was no slouch when it came to strength, which meant Naruto would be safe from any other possible infiltrators that might attempt something under the cover of the Chuunin Exam. Hiruzen himself had even recommended him, saying Ebisu's previously disdainful opinion of Naruto had changed over the last several months.

All the logic didn't make it any easier turning Naruto down when he showed up at the hospital just after Kakashi had left a shadow clone with Sasuke so he could take the bodies of the ANBU agents down to the morgue. Despite that, he couldn't help needling Ebisu about Naruto's startling nickname for the prudish straight-laced Jounin. Seeing the man so flustered was a welcome bit of amusement in an otherwise very morbid day, and the fact that Ebisu set about scolding Naruto for being the impertinent punk he was instead of recoiling from "the kyuubi brat" made Kakashi feel better about his decision.

The location Kakashi chose to train Sasuke in was a maze of cliffs and rock spires that was not easily accessible, and there were very few people who knew the area as well as he did. They would have the high ground and the terrain advantage if Kabuto attacked, and they were still within range of a quick distress message to Konoha if something big happened. With his ninken bringing them food and digging out a spring for water, there was no need for them to leave the place.

Climbing those cliffs with one hand tied behind his back might have seemed reckless, but when his body reached the limit where he was finally able to open the first of the Eight Gates, it was all worth it. He doubted that one thing would make him capable of defeating Orochimaru if he showed up, and using it with his sharingan would most likely kill him once his chakra was depleted. Still, it would buy Kakashi precious time in a fight against the Sannin.

He hesitated on teaching Sasuke the chidori. The boy was still balancing on the wire between revenge and his teammates, but he would need a powerful lightning technique to counter Gaara's sand. When Sasuke talked about defeating the Suna shinobi, Kakashi wanted to believe he saw more than bloodlust. He wanted to believe that he saw a steady undercurrent of needing to crush Gaara so Naruto wouldn't have to face the dangerous red-head in the second round. He wanted to listen to the nagging instinct that told him Sasuke was slowly shifting the foundations of his lust for power, and that he was finally starting to open up to the idea of possibly contemplating the unwelcome notion that revenge did not have to be his only reason for living.

Kakashi wanted to trust Sasuke. He wanted to show that trust, and he wanted to give Sasuke _something_ in hopes of tipping the balance.

A few weeks and a very late flashy entrance into the event stadium later - which, by the way, was not ENTIRELY his fault since he'd been ordered to delay their arrival for the purpose of throwing a wrench into whatever plans Orochimaru had set - and Kakashi couldn't have been more relieved to see that famous Uchiha smirk warm up at Naruto's exuberant crass greeting. He played his nervously apologetic role well, because Genma's little dig meant he had apparently almost timed their entrance a bit _too_ late. But seriously, how was he supposed to know Kankuro would forfeit?!

He chuckled to himself as Shikamaru got Naruto moving out of the ring with relative ease, and made his own way into the stands. It was awkward seeing Gai again...and Lee...and Sakura was too worried to be angry, which only made him feel more awkward. Kakashi didn't handle awkward well, he never had. Luckily, several months of being harangued by the unstable emotions of three kids had taught him that sometimes a simple "Don't worry." and a smile worked wonders.

When Gai started calling him his eternal rival, Kakashi knew he had been forgiven and thanked Gai in the most appropriate way he knew how; by pretending he didn't hear it. It was nice to have that bit of normalcy and banter. It made him feel settled and ready before all hell broke loose.

He could have gone down there and punched Genma in the face for sending Sasuke off by himself, but that would have to come later. As proud as he was of Sakura's ability to dispel the genjutsu on herself, he kind of wished she hadn't been so smart, because now she was a target. He figured putting on a pleasant smile and asking her nicely to stay where she was while he thinned the enemy ranks was better than barking at her. Especially since his face was spattered with blood from having just driven his kunai into the skulls of two Oto shinobi that had made the mistake of trying to kill her right in front of him.

She certainly was a trooper, and through it all she never panicked. She wasn't necessarily pleased at the idea of being sent out on an "A-Rank" mission with nothing but a little pug and two other Genin, but she never once let her fear distract her. Unfortunately, dodging a stray kunai and defending against a Jounin were two different things, and Kakashi heard her warning shout to Naruto a second too late. But, hey, that's why he had a rival to watch his blind spot, and maybe now those idiot Oto shinobi would finally get it through their heads that they were going to get obliterated if they kept going after Konoha's fresh-faced little Genin while there was a _Sensei_ in the area.

He didn't like seeing them go, but he liked the idea of Sasuke being alone against the three Suna shinobi even less. The boy was strong, that was undeniable, but he would be too low on chakra if he had to fight Kankuro and Temari before he got to Gaara. Even if he didn't face the two older Genin, he still might not have enough chakra to defeat Gaara by himself. There had been a disturbingly familiar malignance from that strange chakra the red-head had used, and it made a frightening amount of tactical sense for Suna to bring their jinchuuriki to Konoha for this full scale assault.

Kakashi trusted Pakkun to guide them swiftly and safely, and to warn them of any approaching danger well in advance so Shikamaru could come up with a strategy. He gave one last silent prayer that they would reach Sasuke in time, and that he would listen to his teammates before it was too late. Then, he turned his back on the hole in the wall and concentrated on fighting off wave after wave of Oto and Suna shinobi. This was war, he had to focus on trying not to get any of the surrounding unconscious villagers killed in the crossfire.

It seemed to take forever before he heard the distant piercing call of the hawk overhead, and with that sound he knew the battle was won. All the Konoha shinobi who had been holding back were free to unleash everything they had in a counter-attack. As long as the civilians and the younger Genin were safely tucked away in shelters, there wasn't a single Konoha shinobi who would hesitate to raze the village to the ground in order to defend those shelters and drive the enemy back. Houses could be rebuilt, possessions could be replaced, but lost lives were lost forever.

Orochimaru retreated, followed by the enemies that were still capable of escaping, and Konoha was safe once more...but it came at a bitter cost.

The Sandaime Hokage was dead.

Kakashi felt as if someone had removed his heart and then gut-punched him. Hiruzen had watched over Konoha for decades, it was surreal knowing he was gone, and Kakashi could only stare in a daze until he shook himself back to reality. As much as he wanted to remain and pay his respects properly before Hiruzen's body was carried away, he had something more important to take care of. The old man would have understood. After all, it was what he had died to protect.

Shiba led him quickly to Pakkun and his thoroughly banged-up students. The landscape had been ravaged on a massive scale, Naruto and Sakura were unconscious, and Sasuke was teetering on his feet with the curse mark spread across half of him. Kakashi took a deep steadying breath, thankful that all three of his minions were still alive, and made two shadow clones so he could carry them back to the village. He studiously ignored Sasuke's protests as he slung the exhausted teen over his own back to prevent the stubborn boy from dispelling a shadow clone to preserve his wounded pride.

The biting comments ended swiftly when Kakashi told him about Hiruzen's death, and the remainder of the trip to the hospital was spent in silence. Kakashi checked on them while they were kept there overnight, but the visits were brief and none of them spoke much to each other. They were still trying to wrap their minds around the shock of losing the Hokage, and he had never been good at coming up with words of comfort in situations like that. The irony was bitter on the back of his tongue as he stood in front of the Memorial Stone before heading to the funeral. He should have been a consummate professional at words of comfort after having lost so many important people in his life.

But he wasn't. His heart wasn't soft enough for that, it wasn't whole enough for that. His heart was like his father's tanto; coated in death, broken by past failures, and pieced back together in a brittle mockery of what it was supposed to be. Iruka's heart was soft, which was why he was rarely ever on the active duty roster for missions. It was also whole, which was why he made such a good teacher at the Academy. Kakashi knew he was kind of a lousy teacher, he just didn't have the gift for it. He envied that quality in Iruka sometimes, and it was enough to prompt him to add his own paltry two cents after Iruka's speech about bonds.

It was hardly an inspirational monologue, and he didn't actually say much of anything. He didn't say that the Sandaime had died for Naruto. That he had died for all of the youngsters. That he had died with a smile on his face. That he had died without regret, because he had wanted to protect the village he had loved so much. That while he had left his courage and his kindness and his Will of Fire to be carried on like an invisible plate of armor, the next generation's safety and happiness was, by far, the most precious thing he could ever leave behind.

Then Naruto looked up at him with clear determined eyes, as if he had heard everything Kakashi hadn't said, and suddenly Kakashi thought maybe he was getting better at the whole teaching thing. Even though Naruto said he didn't understand, his smile said otherwise.

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke had just survived another monumental brush with death, and they had done it _as a team_. Kakashi had his minions back in all their dysfunctional glory, and at the next Chuunin Exam they would wipe the floor with everyone. They had finally grown into that place where Kakashi could start teaching them techniques and strategies and tricks and elemental affinities for all three of them, because Sakura didn't want to be left behind anymore, Naruto wasn't going to _let_ anyone be left behind, and Sasuke was finding reasons to stay.

When Jiraiya approached him somewhat grimly a few days later, Kakashi was - for lack of a better word - anxious. Pakkun had told him about Naruto summoning Gamabunta, and Ebisu confirmed his suspicion about Jiraiya's involvement in Naruto's training when the man spoke to him after he had dropped his team off at the hospital. He certainly couldn't fault Ebisu for relinquishing the task to the powerful Sannin, though he did suspect there was more to the situation than what Ebisu had told him.

He tried to ease the tension in the air by starting off with a normal conversation opener. Unfortunately, Jiraiya was all business, and replied with a verbal kick in the gut.

"Kakashi...let me take care of Naruto."

It was not a "Let me help train him," it was a "I'm going to take Naruto away from you and break up your team." The blows just kept on coming after that, because there was an organization of S-Rank criminals called Akatsuki who were after all the Biju, and Orochimaru had been a part of that group once, and Orochimaru was after Sasuke, and _Itachi_ was a member of that group, which meant Itachi was after Naruto, and no matter how much he wanted to deny it, Kakashi knew he wasn't strong enough to protect both boys from those kinds of odds all by himself.

There was some consolation in the way Jiraiya told him to focus on Sasuke "for now", and that Naruto would only be gone until the next Chuunin Exam. It didn't make the disappointment any less painful, but at least Jiraiya had offered him an acceptable time frame of six months. Sasuke's frustration at Naruto's growth in power was reaching a boiling point, so maybe it was a good idea to separate the pair for a little while. He could continue to work on getting Sasuke's head screwed on straight, and Sakura would be forced to step up her game to help balance out their shrinking team.

When he met his team for training the next morning, Naruto pounced on him immediately with shouts about learning the chidori. Kakashi couldn't bring himself to say no, especially knowing that Jiraiya would be leaving with the boy later that day. As futile as it was, he did honestly try to explain it as simply as possible while Naruto puffed out his face in his effort to force a miracle to happen. Barring the fact that he didn't think Naruto had a lightning affinity to be able to perform the technique in the first place, it had taken Sasuke three weeks of studying Kakashi with his sharingan, and learning how to interpret and understand the mechanics behind the manipulation of chakra he was seeing before he managed to get a spark of electricity crackling in his palm.

He called an early end to the day before lunch, and told Sasuke to meet him later for some one-on-one training. Not wanting to risk Sasuke seeing Naruto leave the village with one of the great Sannin, he arrived at the dango shop early and loitered outside the open doorway. When he caught a familiar scent on the breeze his first thought was that all of Jiraiya's talk yesterday was making him paranoid to the point of insanity. His second thought was a desperate wish for his first thought to be true. His third thought was to thank god that Asuma and Kurenai just happened to stroll by before Sasuke got there.

As soon as he had gotten Sasuke a fair distance in the opposite direction of where Asuma and Kurenai were skittering and pulsing their chakra in preparation for a fight, he gave the teen a lame excuse and told him he would meet him at the training field. Sasuke grunted and shrugged as he walked away, distracted with his own thoughts. Kakashi summoned Pakkun to find Gai, and managed to make it in time to give his friends some needed back-up.

Itachi having the mangyeko sharingan was not an officially documented fact, it was speculation and an educated assumption based on his ability to wipe out an entire clan of sharingan-users...and survive relatively unharmed. Kakashi had never tried to find out if his own eye contained the mangyeko, because it wasn't technically his eye and attempting an evolved form of something that already sapped his strength so effectively was a fool's gambit. The instant he was caught in the tsukiyomi, he knew he was going to have to become that fool and risk it all to protect what was important to him.

For 72 hours he endured the agony of being skewered and eviscerated over and over and over. He fell back on his ANBU training to keep from breaking, to keep himself from screaming and begging for death. He reminded himself of all the times he had weathered the pain of injuries; broken bones, flayed skin, scorched flesh, ripped tendons, a sliced open eye. Lasting three days in a hellish nightmare was something he could and _would_ accomplish! Itachi wasn't going to shatter his former Taichou that easily.

His ears were ringing and his vision was closing in dangerously by the time he crashed to his knees in the bright sunshine of reality. Thinking was difficult, and his fingers twitched with the desire to search for wounds that weren't there, but he forced everything into the background as he focused on buying time. A simple bluff got Kisame talking, which was long enough for him to catch his breath a bit. The world was going fuzzy around the edges, and he tossed out Sasuke's name to see if he could bait Itachi.

Surprisingly it worked. Even more surprising was how generous Itachi was with the wording of his reply. Swallowing hard against the ache in his throat and the numbness crawling up his limbs, he took his first step into the world of gambling fools. Itachi could have been lying about Sasuke, but the safer bet was that Jiraiya's suspicions were right. He had to know if Naruto was truly being hunted by an entire group of people this dangerous. He had to see the truth with his own eye and with Obito's eye if he was going to take the fool's gambit that could leave him dead on the first attempt of trying to unlock a mangyeko sharingan.

Well...assuming he could survive _this_ encounter, at any rate...

Kisame's chakra was monstrous as he charged, and for the life of him Kakashi couldn't figure out why Asuma and Kurenai hadn't left him and fled yet. Bracing himself to shove them back before he passed out, he got as far as gathering his meager chakra before something green and orange and LOUD sent shockwaves over the river while Kisame was kicked several meters back. Relief flooded him, draining his tenuous hold on consciousness, and as he blacked out he was satisfied that at least Gai would make sure Asuma and Kurenai survived.

When he opened his eyes again and sat up, he didn't really know where he was, or what was going on, and he could vaguely remember his own name through the thick haze of pain in his head. It took him a moment to realize there was some random woman with an abundance of cleavage possibly scolding him. But he wasn't really paying attention to that because there was a blond kid staring at him like they were supposed to know each other, and there was a bizarre man in a leotard behind the boy, pointing and shouting about...something.

He had no idea how long he sat there staring at the wall after the people left, but eventually he came to the conclusion that if he was in a bed, then he should probably lie down. He fell asleep three seconds after his head hit the pillow, and he didn't wake up until the next morning. Two days later he was finally back in his apartment and just starting to feel human again when a small messenger bird pecked on his window. Heaving a weary sigh, he shooed the bird away and fumbled clumsily into his uniform. He looked at his calendar out of habit and grimaced.

September 15th.

It was going to be a rough day.

Never in his wildest nightmares did he think that his rough day would result in hearing a piercing scream that bolted him instinctively to the roof of the hospital. Reaching out to grab Naruto's and Sasuke's wrists, he bit back a yelp of pain as his fingers were singed and blistered from the force of chakra the boys were using. He hurled them into the water towers, then stood between them and a terrified Sakura as he tried to figure out why everything was falling apart so catastrophically.

How the shit did Naruto learn the rasengan?! And why the hell was Sasuke using the chidori?! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIS GOD DAMN TEAM?!

The anger that Kakashi wanted to hold onto was being dragged into a pit of aching sadness at the frustration that both boys mirrored for reasons that were so similar and so far apart. Nearly a year of coaxing Sasuke into a team-oriented state of mind was being swiftly flushed down the toilet. The kid's glare was darker and more irrationally desperate than Kakashi had ever seen it. He hadn't just stumbled back into his old self, he'd turned around and marched straight past it into the realm of "potential homicidal maniac". That meant only one thing: Itachi had somehow gotten to Sasuke.

He was livid with Jiraiya for teaching Naruto something as powerful as the rasengan and turning his students' rivalry into a deadly arms race, but the wrath was fleeting as guilt clawed and scratched the inside of his chest. He had given Sasuke the first weapon, after all. Jiraiya hadn't known anything about the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. He hadn't known that the delicate balance of power between the boys was teetering on the edge of a bomb. He hadn't known that allowing Sasuke to face Itachi was only going to light the fuse that would potentially destroy everything Team 7 had built.

It was irresponsible of him to lie to Sakura, Kakashi knew that, but he wanted to believe his own lie the same way he wanted to believe Jiraiya when he'd said that a few words to Sasuke and Naruto would repair the damages done that day. He didn't think the rift could be bridged that easily, especially with Sasuke snarling and glaring at him with so much open hatred and contempt. But there was a glimmer of hope again, because Sasuke wasn't turning away to ignore him, pretending his wounds didn't exist, withdrawing into himself and closing his emotions off like he had in the beginning.

Sasuke didn't do any of those things that would have made all of Kakashi's words completely futile and meaningless. Instead, Sasuke exploded. He lashed out at Kakashi, tearing away the invisible bandages for the first time and admitting to the pain he had spent most of his life icing over with cold heartless resolve. Kakashi really had liked the way his Genin knew nothing about him, and that they simply assumed he actually had loved ones still alive somewhere. The fact that they thought of him as a normal human had made him feel like a normal human. It had been nice.

It had also been worth it, because Sasuke's frigid shell was finally cracked enough for him to _listen_ as Kakashi told him that all of his loved ones had already been killed, that he truly did understand the kind of pain Sasuke had gone through, and that they may have lost their families, but they had beat the odds and had found precious people that were worth keeping and protecting. Kakashi could see every single word sink in as Sasuke remained silent, and as he released the boy from the wire, he had to trust that his words had, at the very least, paused Sasuke's freefall into darkness.

He would only be gone a few days, he was already late to leave for his mission. It was just a few days, and Jiraiya would hopefully be keeping an eye on Naruto so the boys didn't clash again. Just a few days, and he'd be back to try to keep bridging that rift.

_Why couldn't Sasuke have waited a few fucking days?!_

Kakashi's heart was hammering in his chest as he stared at Tsunade's calmly stern face in disbelieving horror. She had sent five rookies after Sasuke. He hadn't heard her right, this wasn't happening. She had sent NARUTO after Sasuke. This could not be happening! His stomach churned violently, and he gripped the edge of the Hokage's desk with a shaky hand as he tried to keep himself from throwing up. Not happening, not happening, not happening, not happening!

He took two deep breaths to get himself under control, ignored the mission assignment she was trying to hand him, and turned on his heel with a wave as he told her he'd be back when he finished taking care of something. Her angry chakra bristled silently behind him, and he "translated" his statement with a vicious whip of killing intent: He was leaving, and she could kiss his ass.

Not wasting any time, he darted to the village gate and summoned his whole pack. Four heartbeats later, he was sprinting after Pakkun and praying he would make it in time to stop his boys from killing each other. A constant mantra of "Please don't be late this time! Please don't be late this time! Please don't be late this time!" rattled around in his head, draining all the heat from his body and making the wind cackle and shriek in his ears. Just this once, he had to make it on time!

A wave of terrible chakra hit Kakashi as he raced through the trees, it was black and malicious and overwhelmingly powerful. _Please don't be late this time!_ It seemed to come from all directions, pulsing out of the ground and writhing in the air. _Not again, not late again!_ He knew where Pakkun was leading him. _Just this one time!_ Fate enjoyed her twisted games, apparently. _He would do anything, give anything!_ The Valley of the End was all too familiar. _Please, just don't let them kill each other! _

He cursed the rain. He cursed the gods. He cursed Tsunade. He cursed Jiraiya. He cursed Orochimaru. He cursed Itachi. He cursed himself over and over and over again. He knelt next to Naruto's still form and wanted to curse Sasuke so much...but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There was a hole in the right side of Naruto's jacket, singed and charred at the edges, and the exposed skin was pink as if freshly healed. The blond was battered, burnt and bruised from head to toe, and his sternum was cracked where something had aimed for his heart without piercing through.

Naruto was half dead...but he was _still alive_. Sasuke was gone...but _they were both alive!_

The trip back home was a heavy one. The weight on his back was warm and light, a stark contrast to the weight crushing his chest and driving his knees closer to the ground with every step he took as he leaped through the trees. Pakkun never left his side and never spoke a word. The pack had been summoned to find two lost pups, but had only been able to retrieve one, and he was severely injured. Pakkun was the pack's Beta. He would not leave his Alpha alone with an injured pup, and he would stay with them both till they reached the gates of Konoha. It was simply how the pack worked, and for that Kakashi was grateful.

Kakashi hadn't been expecting Naruto to wake up, even if it was only for a brief moment, and it tore him to pieces when the boy asked about Sasuke. He didn't know what to say. He _never_ knew what to say, it was rather pathetic. At least the medic nins' interruption gave him the opportunity to just shake his head, and their pitying eyes told him they didn't know what to say either. The mild tension in Naruto's arms faded as he slipped back into unconsciousness, and Kakashi didn't hand him over to the medics until they reached the hospital.

Making sure that Sasuke's forehead protector was tucked under Naruto's hand after the doctors finished wrapping him up like a mummy, he left the sleeping blond to go wait outside the Hokage's office until Tsunade returned from the hospital. He didn't have to wait too long, and the look she gave him as she walked by spoke volumes about how displeased she was at his earlier insubordination. As downtrodden and hollow as he felt, he didn't look away from her because he didn't regret going out there after his students.

She handed him the same S-Rank assignment she'd been trying to give him before he'd left, curtly rattled off the details of the mission, and then pulled out the public personnel files for Team 7. Kakashi kept staring at the paper in his hand so he could pretend not to see his Hokage removing and separating all the files before throwing the folder that had held them together into the rubbish bin. His eyes drifted down the paper to the names of the people he had to assassinate so he could pretend he didn't see Tsunade make a note on Sasuke's file, and then flip it over to stamp the back with the Hokage's seal.

He let his gaze wander farther down his assignment, reading the words "estimated time of completion: 4-5 months" over and over again while he listened to Tsunade tell him that Naruto would be leaving with Jiraiya in three months...and wouldn't be returning to Konoha at all for another three years. When she put Naruto's file into a desk drawer, and drummed her fingers next to Sakura's file, he had finally schooled his expression into a blank mask so he could look at the woman.

"Tell me about Sakura."

Kakashi glanced down at the picture of a smiling pink-haired young girl, described everything that wasn't in the file with as few words as possible, and then left the office to prepare for his mission.

Team 7 was officially disbanded.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**[** Episode 101 is my all-time favorite filler. I HAD to include it, even if that meant I was forced to place it much earlier in the series than the anime aired it. Personally, I think the cracky hijinks fit better before the Chuunin Exams, and the manga doesn't have any more time-skips between the Chuunin Exams and the Sasuke Retrieval Arc.

After Lee's fight in the Chuunin Exam the manga has Kakashi's apology to Gai in thought bubbles, not speech bubbles. The anime has Kakashi speaking out loud, but I went with the manga and kept Kakashi silent because I felt it fit my view of their relationship better.

The cover for chapter 51 of the manga - where Sakura is initially attacked by the Oto (Sound) team while Naruto and Sasuke are unconscious - has Kakashi praying at a shrine with Gai spying on him in the background. I realize the covers are not necessarily canon events, but it was sweet so I included it.

By the way, this is the first sad ending I've ever written...and IT HURTS! Holy crap, how do people write this way all the time?! T_T I was so incredibly tempted to put a little nod to the movie "Kingdom of the Crescent Moon" in there, but it disrupted the flow...of tears... Fuck, maybe I should put it in the final installment of this series. (that's right! one more to go!) Sakura's and Lee's fights at the end were spectacular, they shouldn't be ignored! XD **]**


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